well, the winter quarter is about over. One week left. Exciting isn’t quite the word. You see, over Christmas break I almost didn’t come back. I was having fun and enjoying myself, but they say the pleasures of sin only last for a season. La Muerte (Death) stalks you all your life, and the tragedy is that he stalks you at your bidding. It is written, “The wages of sin is death” (John 6:23) and this is certainly true. I must confess over break, I was indulging in self-destructive activities that wound me up in trouble.
Trouble is an intersting place, full of lies, mostly of the self-deceptive nature, and danger. Unfortunately, I have found myself too often within its confines. I am a rebel, a vigilante out after my own sort of justice and life, and while this seems to make me happy and give me power, these things betray me when I need them most and I am found inadequate.
Inadequacy is intoxicating, and I will tell you why. When I find that of myself I can do nothing, I can’t even fail, then I must find an alternate source of power to fulfill my passions. This source becomes the Source. Jesus Christ becomes my Deus Ex Machina. He solves my problems. Take my evil over break, for instance. I found myself on a dusty street staring down my old adversary with both barrels empty and my backup weapon at home, when none other than my Deliverer comes leaping across the rooftops, guns blazing. In this moment of triumph, I stand rooted to the dry ground and watch my enemies fall. Messiah stands before me, and without hesitation slaps me to the ground. It was my fault I was even in the predicament to begin with. My Savior had warned me of the doom, told me not to go, and grabbed my second firearm and emptied my primary. He then let me leave in bravado and foolishness.
So God then stood me up and dusted me off. He turned me in the direction I needed to go, and led me by the hand. He holds my hand still.
This quarter at Word of Life has been one of intense spiritual growth and self-inspection. I fail and mess up and sin, and my Father puts me back on the right. I ignore what I know to do, and the Spirit is grieved. I break fellowship and spit at the One Who Rescues. But when I fall down at the end of myself, He picks me up in absolute love, grace, mercy, and power; and He holds it not to my account and forgives me.
This is the life indeed. My nineteenth birthday soon approaches, and today I spent an awesome day with my brother and his girlfriend in Lake Placid, walking around and visiting shops. Even bought some “invisible” playing cards. They are plastic and see through (though the numbers and suits are cleverly hidden). This day was high fifties, clear, and so beautiful it hurt. I bless God for so much clarity after much days of gray.
I trust you live the Life, and I know that when I walk in faith and sin not, my attitude, outlook and thought processes are so much better. Strangely enough, I am more free, happy, and relaxed when I have done nothing wrong.
Jesus Christ is a Man Apart that way. Does He have your back? He’s got mine, and that makes all the difference.
Adios amigos.
This entry was posted on Sunday, March 12th, 2006 at 11:36:23 and is filed under Captain\'s Log, Spirituality. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
