Archive for November, 2007

To crawl, perchance to Live November 30th, 2007

Phil Martin

Hello Whoever May Be Reading…

I am tired. Not a simple “stayed-up-too-late-watching-a-movie” tired, but a profound weariness in my soul. Something that saps the strength from my limbs, and motivation from my heart. Don’t worry overly much (I am not, for the simple reason that it is merely the end of a semester and so much new has been encountered in my life, and I have dealt with so much that is nearing an final and decisive end).

Hope glimmers ever true, and Christmas break approaches, and with it, my close family and times of sleep and relaxation, such that I have not know for quite some time.

Though the metaphor of a race is oft apropos, I instead think that I cannot walk, let alone run, and feel that the best example of what I feel I must do is a Frodo crawl up the slopes of Mount Doom. I am not without my Samwise, better, Rosie, and this makes my heart sing. I would not have got far without her.

I praise God in all, and through all, for as James says, these are the things which make us strong before the Lord, in faith and trust. I do not wish for a more comfortable life, for how would I therewith be able to rely on my King?

I must also remember, I asked for this. You see, I pray that God would make me who I should be, but then, I pray too for deliverance. But God, in infinite wisdom, answers the first and not the second, knowing that I will be refined as gold when it is all said and done. Haha. The Eternal Bling! Anyway, I seek to grow through all of these hard and tiring times.

Consider this:

The shades of night were falling fast,
As through an Alpine village passed
A youth, who bore, ‘mid snow and ice,
A banner with the strange device,
Excelsior!

His brow was sad; his eye beneath,
Flashed like a falchion from its sheath,
And like a silver clarion rung
The accents of that unknown tongue,
Excelsior!

In happy homes he saw the light
Of household fires gleam warm and bright;
Above, the spectral glaciers shone,
And from his lips escaped a groan,
Excelsior!

At break of day, as heavenward
The pious monks of Saint Bernard
Uttered the oft-repeated prayer,
A voice cried through the startled air,
Excelsior!

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

excelsior is Latin, translated as “ever higher” and this is a fitting motto, for the time left to me, do you not agree?

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The Days Have Gone Down in the West November 15th, 2007

Phil Martin

I sit here, upon a lab computer with familiar, yet strange keyboard, reflecting upon my fortune and my time spent at Messiah. Since my last post, life has been very good. I did see Transformers and it did totally rock. I also made it down to Washington, D.C. and got to hang out with old Abe, and see some war memorials, and visit a few museums. Fun stuff. Even got to each lunch with my girl beneath a weeping willow in the great land of Virginia. This coming Saturday I hope to make it to Philly, maybe see an old friend and some cool things. One never knows.

But more than that, I find myself continually reflecting on the change from Word of Life to Messiah, the differences in schools, in ideology, in atmosphere….all sorts of things. I am also rethinking alot about purpose, and my inner philosophy, what I feel about what I believe, and how strongly I wish to hold to those convictions.

As the year moves towards an end, and Thanksgiving is only a week away! I wonder what the next year will bring. It will be exciting to find out, certainly.

So, there you have it, a short post during some free time in the middle of a class day, with the leaves turning vibrant colors in the mist of autumn. Here is a favorite poem of mine, nostalgic in what memories it brings to mind:

Vagabond Song There is something in the autumn that is native to my blood — Touch of manner, hint of mood; And my heart is like a rhyme, With the yellow and crimson keeping time. The scarlet of the maples can shake me like a cry Of bugles going by. And my lonely spirit thrills To see the frosty asters like a smoke upon the hills. There is something in October sets the gypsy blood astir; We must rise and follow her, When from every hill of flame She calls and calls each vagabond by name. —- Bliss Carman

peace

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